I woke my children up for school this morning and I went to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. My oldest son came to the kitchen table with a deeply creased scowl on his face. It wasn’t unlike the scowl I had seen on his face for many other days for the last two weeks. He and his younger brother had been quarreling spiritedly again while dressing for school.

At breakfast, I asked him how he could do something different to avoid future quarrels (just as I had asked on several other occasions in the last two weeks). My rationale was that it was his problem and not mine and I was only there for support. I would just continue this unproductive behavior pattern right along with them.  

Well, what could I do different even in a support role? Talking to my oldest son first thing in the morning during breakfast wasn’t working (the definition of craziness is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result).

The learning here is, it’s not just about someone else adjusting to a situation. Even in a support role, indirectly impacting a situation, there is a responsibility to adjust if no change is occurring. Later today, I’ll visit with my son about the morning quarreling on the way to soccer practice to hopefully draw-out a different result than what’s been experienced so far. It will be a different part of the day and I’ll use a different approach.

I won’t continue to do the same thing.

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